Over my life I have often thought of the power of words.  Words have the power to help or to hurt, to harm or to heal, to give or to take.  As a general rule I like to believe that the words that leave my life be of the uplifting sort, but as I stop to meditate upon previous days, weeks and months, I find myself of the negative sort.  Why do I do this when I do not want to do this, say these things that are hurtful and ugly.  Reactionary words generally hurt, at least in my expereience.  When I am not in a good place I say hurtful things.  The words that have been the worst, well those, though I wish it weren't so have gone to the very ones that I love the most and who love me the most.    I ask forgiveness, but the words have gone forth and even asking forgiveness it is too late.  Few erase the chalkboard completely, including myself.  I want to be a person who says only good things, lifts instead of tearing down, but how to get around when I am down or hurt or being attacked to not respond in kind.  TO never say another negative word, is it even possible?  Today my prayer is for my mouth connector to be washed between my brain and my tongue.  Stop!

I want to begin by saying I am a lifetime Republican... now with that I immediately prejudice some (most).  I am a man with a heart, a strong man who believes in cause and purpose, driven by vision of things as they get better.  I am a man of many words, but more importantly I am a man of action.  I am judgemental, critical, forgiving, kind, compassionate and loving.  I am becoming much more patient than I was yesterday, a week ago or even a year ago. I trust way too easily and share way more than I ever should according to most.  I want my kids to succeed and help society and humankind.  I want to be able to maintain my large belly and have a nice roof over my head.  I want to love my wife without interferance and assist her in obtaining her life goals in whatever fashion I am capable of.  I have recently changed my party affiliation to Democrat.  The only reason for this is so I can vote for Barack Obama.  There is something about him, a feeling I get inside, that he offers change and hope in that change.  He has BIG visions.  He is intelligent, swift and very articulate.  He is kind, compasionate and in touch with humanityh, not judged by color or race.  He believes in equality based upon our staure as a human being, not wealth, where we went to school or how much we earn.  He believes in helping folks and also in keeping his commitments.  I am not easily swain from one thing to another unless I can really feel something in my gut, I am a real feeler, but mostly overridden by analysis.  I read Audacity of Hope and also Dreams from my father and two other books on him.  I AM IMPRESSED!  I believe he will be our point in history where at least for a while, we took a break from the "brake and conquer mentality" and actully thought about ourselves in a more kind way.  Anyways, we are free at all times to do as we please and I ask you to please consider Barack Obama as our next President. 

Today Lord I am before you as every day I stand before you.  I feel weak, downtrodden, yet know you are  God and in control.  I am thankful for so much, so much that you have given me, in fact acknowledging that without you Jesus, I would not be alive or have knowledge.  At times I am regretful of how you made me and I know this is wrong.  You made me special and I feel special, yet at times I wish I was just simple, a "joe smo" going about life without much thought.  I do not mean to demean.  You said wisdom cries out from the street corners for those who will look and listen and I do.  BUT, you also said with much wisdom comes much sorrow and lately I am sorrowful.  Mainly as you know over my partner who died and his wife attacking me as she has and forcing me to waste money on a lawsuit where before you I have done nothing differently than when her husband was alive.  Yesterday I was in the offices and saw the eagles I had made in Roger's rememberance and for a moment I caught myself not liking him and thinking evil of him, but he was not evil to me, he was a great older brother of whom I loved deeply.  We have both experienced loss of a great companion, but never would I have hurt her and did nothing like she claims.  Hopefully her eyes will open before she expends all the insurance money on attorneys who are robbing her rather than on the things Roger would have wanted for her.  There is no happiness in this, but Lord I asked on the death bed as You requested and I guess when the answer was no I should have had suspisions then of how I would be attacked by a non believer.  All children are Yours and without You we do not breath nor live.  Help me and thank you that You do and I cannot see it, clear my vision.  My struggles I acknowledge are small in terms of the world, yet to me they are great.  I pray Your strenght and power in here and Your athority and control of everything involving this matter.  Lord thank you for my wife, my childrena and also my near and far extended family.  As I have prayed many times, if it is possible tell my father, Dave and also Roger "Hi!" for me.  I love You and thank you.

I just want to feel safe in my own skin I just want to be happy again I just want to feel deep in my own world But I'm so lonely

I don't even want to be with myself anymore On a different day if I was safe in my own skin then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore And I just say oh, oh I feel, oh, oh And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore. I just say oh, oh And i'm so lonely I feel oh, oh Idont even want to be with myself anymore. I just want to feel safe in my own skin I just want to be happy again.

Some basics we all should live by

 

I shall honor my father and my mother.I shall not murder.

I not commit adultery, nor shall I pay a person for sex, thereby degrading that person.

I shall not steal.

I shall not bear false witness against a neighbour.

I shall not covet my neighbour or the things of his house; or anything that belongs to your neighbour.

I shall not place myself out to be "higher" than another human being for surely we all eat, sleep, and excrete in the same fashion.

I should not discriminate based upon things that a person has no choice over, such as place of birth, or color of skin, sex or handicap.

 

There are many more, but this is a fine start to a more peaceful planet!

Over the past 8 years (less the last two which have been correcting us), we had rampant borrowing against Real Estate with rampant spending following suit.  People using equity to buy cars, toys, other rental properties and on and on.  Many of these people were moved into a house during a time that values were rising fast and those who moved into these homes, did so on the positive note and without thought that this cycle will come to and end as all cycles do.  A lot of these folks plain ol' did not think about the refi potentials in two years or five years depending upon which shifting balloon loan they took out to get in.  Just get in is all they were told by mortgage agents who did not even have licenses or understanading about "no-docs" or no income verification loans that they were writing.  Many of these are now out of work and want our sympathy that they lost their jobs and cannot afford the toys, nor the expensive house any more.  I have no sympathy as someone who holds a broker's license in Real Estate and has "played Real Estate for 20 years now.  In good times you sock away the cash for the lean times, because both come and go.  The bottom line to all of this is greed, greed at teh individual level and greed at teh corporate level top to bottom.  Greed caring all the way out to shareholders who demand 19% returns every year, which honestly are not even near realistic.  Making monry was never meant to be a lotto or a crap shoot.  It is the long slow roadup hill.  Baby boomers seem to have shucked that out the door and the next two generations behind us, well who knows where theya re going, it is surely not long term jobs they are after.  Folks we are in two years inbto a correction that will probably take five to competely get thru and then we can start this whole cycle all over again!   We should all learn from our mistakes.  If you are in the market stay calm and sit thru this, because the market is a long term investment it was not meant nor set up for "day traders."  For every one you see as a success there are 99 who are not.  The news and CNN are not where we really live it is sensationalizm at its highest and they still sell their commercials.  THink about what we are going to do when all the libraries dissapper and also our daily newspapers.  That is where we are heading folks.  Getting off oil, unless there is a revolution, is 20 -30 years away, so don't kid yourself.  Going green is the next wave industry.  You heard it here first!